Aug 2, 2011

Wow, it’s already August! I can’t believe it. Summer is half way done. No way. I wish summer break was longer. I don’t want to think about school yet. Although I’m extremely excited to start shopping for school supplies. That’s honestly my favourite part of going back to school. I’m in love with stationary. Notebooks and binders are something I go through very quickly…

I have a confession to make. It looks like I haven’t blogged in a while, but I have. A lot of my posts that I made within the past nine days are set to private. Why? Because they contain very personal content and I don’t want to have a physical diary. For some reason, I have more motivation to do it on my blog than on paper. I’ve been keeping diaries for a while and because of that my family members are more likely to find it. I’m horrible at hiding the fact that I have a diary. There’s absolutely no privacy in this house. Seeing that my parents are technologically illiterate, I am basically free to do whatever as long as my parents aren’t watching over my shoulder. As for my brother, what I say on the Internet doesn’t bother him as long as I don’t bad mouth him (which I don’t). So yeah, this blog is like a diary to me.

Anyway, yesterday I came home from camping for two days. For some reason, camping isn’t that fun for me anymore. I miss the old days when my family, extended family, and family friends would always go camping as a big huge family. There hasn’t been a gathering that big in the last couple of years.

I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking about family a lot. My family here in Canada and in the Philippines. A couple of days ago, I was Skyping with my cousin and my grandparents in the Philippines. I guess you can say I’ve been under the weather since then because I really miss my family that lives in that part of the world. My parents want to visit since my grandmother’s health is rapidly deteriorating but the trip will cost too much and with me going to university in a year, it just seems out of the question.

We’ve never been filthy rich but we’ve been comfortable. A couple of times we’ve had some rough spots when it came to money but we managed to always get by. My parents have always stressed the importance of education because they never had the opportunity to continue theirs after high school. The Philippines is a third world country and my parents worked insanely hard to get here in Canada. Since my parents don’t have a good education, they’re stuck with part time jobs. On top of that, they’re always sending money to their family in the Philippines and they’ve been doing that for the past twenty years. They’ve managed to sponsor some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins to come here to work in Canada to do the same. Yeah, my family is still definitely luckier than others but we still have problems.

I know my mom is worried about her own mother and I just feel guilty that my going to school could prevent her from seeing my grandmother one last time. For me, family would definitely come first before education but my mom also has her heart on me going next year. But money is a big issue.

Sometimes I just wish money was never an issue. Not with just my own problems but with the whole world. Money is just a source of problems but I guess that without money, our world would be in even more chaos than right now but that’s an entirely different issue. The world is just unfair.

How I got into this topic, I don’t even know. This blog post was all over the place but I feel a whole lot better after letting out some steam. Ah, the day in the life of a second generation immigrant.

Category: Friends and Family Internet