Jan 26, 2017
One morning after we woke up, my SO wiped the bed and exclaimed, “There’s so much of your hair!” We both laughed it off but I felt a sense of dread. I’m no stranger to hair loss. For years now I’ve notice more hair in the shower, on my pillow, on the floor, on my laptop, etc. When I go to my doctor every year, he reassures me it’s normal and gets me to do bloodwork that always comes back clean.
Maybe it’s just my genetics at play for my dad is balding and my mom’s hair is pretty thin (due to pulling it out, however). Or maybe it’s because I recently restricting my calories again. Or because I started working a 9 to 5 job and I am actually more stressed than I feel.
At the time of writing this post, my mom commented on the thinning of the top of my head. Tears formed in my eyes almost immediately.
The thought of losing my hair is scary. I’m not conventially attractive and my hair is definitely not my best point, but it isn’t a negative. It is pretty thick but not soft and silky. Still, I get choked up thinking about parting ways with my hair.
As a woman, it’s particularly hard. For men, balding is not unheard of. Of course, that’s not to say it’s not as hard for men and I’m sure for people whose gender lies outside of the binary, it’s still a struggle. But there is so much importance put on a woman’s hair. It’s rare for people to think about hair loss in women and it’s a shock when people see it.
However, there is no shortage of women who are bald (or have closely cropped hair) or who have had their stints with baldness. Amber Rose, Willow Smith, Sinead Connor, Natalie Portman, etc. With the whole feminist movement, more and more women are jumping at the chance to deviate from gender norms.
At my brother’s graduation last year, a very sweet and cute girl walked the stage bald. She was undergoing chemo therapy which is a bit different but she was so confident and radiated beauty. She was also Filipino, like me, and I had never seen a bald Filipino girl before. And she rocked it!
So maybe being bald wouldn’t be a life changer.
My hairline is receeding slowly and the bald spot on the top of my head is not so large. Maybe I still start using Rogaine or Nizoral. We’ll see how well that goes.
If it gets particularly bad, I think I will just shave it all off. I admit, I’m a bit excited at the prospect of wearing wigs. Maybe I could go blonde, or wear a cute style that my hair never agreed with, or have crazy coloured wigs.
Or I could forego the wigs entirely and just start wearing makeup. Makeup is another thing I haven’t been able to experiment (because I’m broke and always rushing in the morning). Bald women with great make up are awesome (Becky from Buzzfeed comes to mind).
Either way, it’ll be an adventure.