Jan 16, 2019
My therapist told me to write a journal so that I could solidify my thoughts. Maybe, if I write things down, I could get a better sense of my self. So I’m going to start.
I’ve written on this blog many, many, many times that I’ve hesitated writing in a physical journal in fear of my mother reading it. She has read my journal in the past (recently too, within the past two years and I’m sure many times before that) and confronted me about it. I was furious. But I wanted to keep writing. I resorted to carrying a notebook with me where ever I go.
There was an occassion where I couldn’t bring my notebook with me. I put a bookmark in it and lined it up in a way that if it moved, I would know. When I came back, I saw it had moved. I don’t know if it was just the act of me opening it that moved it or what but my paranoia had already dug its roots into my mind. I promptly stopped writing in it.
This is where I turn to you, dear blog. There is a bit of hesitation about writing personal things on my blog. I used to do it so freely when I was younger. But then I look at some of the bloggers I follow who are open about their depression, their family, their breakups, their hardships… It makes it seem a little more possible for me to open up in that way too.
Now that this is on a domain that is slightly less attached to my name, I feel a little bit freer to write what I can.
So with that, hello world.